Kaine:
There was a great battle in which I fought myself. Rationality vs Irrationality. My head vs My heart. And amidst it all I asked myself this question. If I wasn't in love with Wale, what was I doing beating myself up for?
Oh snap!
I WAS IN LOVE WITH WALE.
And with the realization, a great fear engulfed me.
I wasn't one to chicken out, I had always believed in facing my fears. That was my ready advice to anyone who cared to listen. But it wasn't so easy when the tables were turned. Its one thing "giving out" advice and another "taking it".
Was I to tell Wale how I felt? How was I to begin?.
I sat in front of my mirror, practicing with my reflection.
"Wale there's something I have to tell you...", I began...No, too cliché.
"Wale do you have feelings for me?..." Nah! Too cheesy.
"Ok..here's the deal...I like you. Love you maybe..." Too direct I thought, as I ruled that out aswell.
Sigh.
Boy and Girl Palava.
A passing glance at my watch, and I realized Wale was due to pick me up in 20.
Oops!...I hurried to get ready.
Wale:
(At wale's pad. He's sprawled on the floor playing Fifa 11 while Kaine is sitting flipping through a mag. It had been an unusually quiet evening)
Me: K you ok?
Kaine: errr..sure..why wouldn't I be?
Me: Aii..just checking
I returned to my game which if Kaine had been looking, she would have realized I had since stopped playing.
But she wasn't looking she had refused to look at me all evening. Her face was buried in that boring health mag. That was discouragement enough..I almost faltered..but a guy had to do what a guy had to do.
"Wale", Kaine called at the same time I said "Kaine".
Then followed quiet.
Me: You were saying?
Kaine: No you go first.
And as our eyes jammed we both knew what the other wanted to say.
"When did you know?" I asked. "I guess I'd always known but I was denying it", she replied. You?, she asked. "I was smitten from the very first day", I replied, holding her gaze, more sure of myself now that I knew she felt the same way.
"So what happens now?" Kaine said.
THE END
And I leave the rest to your imagination. What do you guys think happened?
Jul 13, 2011
Jun 12, 2011
PART TWO: Wale's Monologue
And there I sat listening as Kaine went all chatty-chatty about her good fortune with a smile on my face.
"Oh dear, I've done it again. I've let my mouth run off. Aii luv, u should get back to work now", Kaine said.
I was about to brush off her concern and urge her to keep on talking when Tola, my colleague walked in.
"I'd call you once I'm done. Bye baby", I reluctantly brought the call to an end.
"You can wipe that smile off your face lover boy", Tola said as he dropped a folder on my desk and whistled out the office.
I hadn't even realized I was smiling. But as usual, Kaine made me smile.
Talkative yet sweet; Stubborn yet wise. She had all the qualities a guy would want in his woman.
All the qualities I wanted in a woman.
I wanted Kaine.
I had wanted her from the very first time I set eyes on her.
She had this magnetic quality about her.
To know her was to love her.
And love her, I did. Though she had no idea. Any form of love I expressed to her was taken to be platonic. To her I was her best friend. Her guy. She once told me I was like a big brother to her...I almost choked on my drink. If only she had known the thoughts that filled my head even as we spoke. Big brother my ass!
That was back then when she was with that Subomi. How I hated his guts...Mr. Smooth Talker. But she'd never have guessed..I was a real sport about their relationship. Giving her advice on how to deal with her man issues. Ever so supportive even when it killed me to be.
And now? I was right there torn between telling her how I felt and risk loosing our friendship or keeping my feelings to myself and never finding out if they were mutual. Tough place to be in especially for a best friend figure who had kept his feelings well hidden for two years. And trust me that wasn't an easy feat especially as I had no inkling as to how she felt about me. It had been a trying two years. Sometimes I just wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled and scream "Can't you see this guy is head-over-heels, socks inside-out in love", and then gather her up in my arms and kiss her till she was out of breath!
I had to tell her how I felt. I had waited long enough and Heaven forbid that another guy take her from me while I was yet dulling..being the best friend while I could be both best friend and boyfriend.
Yes...I had to tell her. The sooner the better too. What was the worst that could happen? She would brush it off as a joke and I'd take whatever I'm served. At least I'd know I gave it a shot and it just wasn't meant to be.
Tomorrow I'd tell her, I resolved.
Haven made a decision, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest. I opened the folder Tola had brought in and as I looked down at my note pad I saw a "chicken scratch-like" doodle spelling "K-A-I-N-E"...and I burst out laughing at myself.
"Dooood...you are way in over your head!" I said aloud, shaking my head and getting to work.
"Oh dear, I've done it again. I've let my mouth run off. Aii luv, u should get back to work now", Kaine said.
I was about to brush off her concern and urge her to keep on talking when Tola, my colleague walked in.
"I'd call you once I'm done. Bye baby", I reluctantly brought the call to an end.
"You can wipe that smile off your face lover boy", Tola said as he dropped a folder on my desk and whistled out the office.
I hadn't even realized I was smiling. But as usual, Kaine made me smile.
Talkative yet sweet; Stubborn yet wise. She had all the qualities a guy would want in his woman.
All the qualities I wanted in a woman.
I wanted Kaine.
I had wanted her from the very first time I set eyes on her.
She had this magnetic quality about her.
To know her was to love her.
And love her, I did. Though she had no idea. Any form of love I expressed to her was taken to be platonic. To her I was her best friend. Her guy. She once told me I was like a big brother to her...I almost choked on my drink. If only she had known the thoughts that filled my head even as we spoke. Big brother my ass!
That was back then when she was with that Subomi. How I hated his guts...Mr. Smooth Talker. But she'd never have guessed..I was a real sport about their relationship. Giving her advice on how to deal with her man issues. Ever so supportive even when it killed me to be.
And now? I was right there torn between telling her how I felt and risk loosing our friendship or keeping my feelings to myself and never finding out if they were mutual. Tough place to be in especially for a best friend figure who had kept his feelings well hidden for two years. And trust me that wasn't an easy feat especially as I had no inkling as to how she felt about me. It had been a trying two years. Sometimes I just wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled and scream "Can't you see this guy is head-over-heels, socks inside-out in love", and then gather her up in my arms and kiss her till she was out of breath!
I had to tell her how I felt. I had waited long enough and Heaven forbid that another guy take her from me while I was yet dulling..being the best friend while I could be both best friend and boyfriend.
Yes...I had to tell her. The sooner the better too. What was the worst that could happen? She would brush it off as a joke and I'd take whatever I'm served. At least I'd know I gave it a shot and it just wasn't meant to be.
Tomorrow I'd tell her, I resolved.
Haven made a decision, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest. I opened the folder Tola had brought in and as I looked down at my note pad I saw a "chicken scratch-like" doodle spelling "K-A-I-N-E"...and I burst out laughing at myself.
"Dooood...you are way in over your head!" I said aloud, shaking my head and getting to work.
Jun 1, 2011
PART ONE: Just Friends
"Hey sweetie, guess what?"
I excitedly typed into my blackberry, still in my high horses at being chosen to partake in an event I'd been pining for, for the past three weeks.
Wale: Hi lover.
What? Lightening struck and as your life flashed before you and you realized I was your one true love? ;)
Me: Oh please, take another guess.
Wale: As you were dozing off mid-lecture, it was revealed to you to propose to me before midnight or your ass will get smaller?
Me: Lol..silly nilly.
Ooooo..Wale be serious jo
Wale: But I am baby, I am.
I sigh and repeatedly roll my eyes at his semi_flirty_jokes.
Wale: Ok..Ok..I've run out of good guesses. Tell me.
Me: So I received a text message 30 minutes ago saying that I'd been invited to partake....
ON AND ON I TYPED. This was going to be a long one.
Suddenly I was interrupted by Yemi Alade belting out.."leave me alone..fimisile..I just wanna party..fimisile..you've been here a while..." as my phone rang.
I cut her off mid-falsetto.
"Wale, I was replying u already, u didn't have to call",
I said on picking the call.
Wale's baritone voice caressed my eardrums. "I know of your excruciating love for details, I couldn't wait that long. So spill. What's got lil miss prudy pants all excited?", He replied.
"I was invited to co-host The Love Me Project. Can u imagine!!! Me! The message was so random I didn't know what to make of it.....", I excitedly began to explain.
And there Wale sat listening to me going all chatty-chatty about my good fortune.
"Oh dear, I've done it again. I've let my mouth run off. Aii luv, u should get back to work now", I reluctantly said, catching myself.
"I'd call you once I'm done. Bye baby" He replied and Click went the phone as the call was disconnected.
Call duration: 12:43sec.
Had I really been talking for that long? I shrugged. After all it was Wale. The whole world and their neighbor knew we spent forever talking on the phone anyway.
Claire who had been right beside me all along threw me an "oh_please_you_and_Wale_get_together_already" look.
I was VERY FAMILIAR with this look.
"What?" I asked defensively. "I was just telling him my good news."
"Of course you were darling", she all too sweetly replied.
They just didn't get how Wale and I could remain "just friends" for all of two years.
"Come on," my friends would tease me, "can you honestly say you feel nothing for him?"
"All the hours spent in each others' company and you've never kissed?" One will ask.
"You weren't jealous of his ex while they were together?" Another will chime in.
"And all the ‘darling_hunnie_sugarplums’ mean nothing? A fourth will ask.
As I adamantly respond negatively to all the questions thrown my way.
"And what about him?" My sister'd ask. "He's never tried to….you know?", giving me a pointed look.
"He kinda did when we first met, but you know I was with Uche at the time so it was a No-No, and besides we've since fallen into a friendship that works fine for both of us...So..." I let my words hang unfinished in the air.
And to my mum, "He's my best friend" I'd say, as she smiles knowingly in return.
Why was it that nobody wanted to believe there was nothing going on between Wale and I? WE ARE JUST FRIENDS, I'm tempted to scream at all the disbelieving eyes staring back at me.
"But why are you trying so hard to convince everyone" a gentle voice called out.
I'd never heard this voice before but I immediately recognized it as my conscience. The voice I'd always relegated to obscurity in "Wale-related" matters.
Weren't you a basket case that week that you had a fight and didn't speak to each other?
Doesn't your face light up when you receive his calls or messages?
Didn't it light up just now?
Weren't you jealous when he almost dated that Barbara chic that hated your guts?
Didn't you say to me on saturday at the movies when his arm hung lazily around your shoulders, how you'd have given anything for him to lean over and kiss you right then?
Why do you share a favorite song?
And all of songs, Michael Buble's The More I See You?
Why do u get so shy and take your eyes away when he throws you that smothering gaze that makes you warm all over?
WHY???
I excitedly typed into my blackberry, still in my high horses at being chosen to partake in an event I'd been pining for, for the past three weeks.
Wale: Hi lover.
What? Lightening struck and as your life flashed before you and you realized I was your one true love? ;)
Me: Oh please, take another guess.
Wale: As you were dozing off mid-lecture, it was revealed to you to propose to me before midnight or your ass will get smaller?
Me: Lol..silly nilly.
Ooooo..Wale be serious jo
Wale: But I am baby, I am.
I sigh and repeatedly roll my eyes at his semi_flirty_jokes.
Wale: Ok..Ok..I've run out of good guesses. Tell me.
Me: So I received a text message 30 minutes ago saying that I'd been invited to partake....
ON AND ON I TYPED. This was going to be a long one.
Suddenly I was interrupted by Yemi Alade belting out.."leave me alone..fimisile..I just wanna party..fimisile..you've been here a while..." as my phone rang.
I cut her off mid-falsetto.
"Wale, I was replying u already, u didn't have to call",
I said on picking the call.
Wale's baritone voice caressed my eardrums. "I know of your excruciating love for details, I couldn't wait that long. So spill. What's got lil miss prudy pants all excited?", He replied.
"I was invited to co-host The Love Me Project. Can u imagine!!! Me! The message was so random I didn't know what to make of it.....", I excitedly began to explain.
And there Wale sat listening to me going all chatty-chatty about my good fortune.
"Oh dear, I've done it again. I've let my mouth run off. Aii luv, u should get back to work now", I reluctantly said, catching myself.
"I'd call you once I'm done. Bye baby" He replied and Click went the phone as the call was disconnected.
Call duration: 12:43sec.
Had I really been talking for that long? I shrugged. After all it was Wale. The whole world and their neighbor knew we spent forever talking on the phone anyway.
Claire who had been right beside me all along threw me an "oh_please_you_and_Wale_get_together_already" look.
I was VERY FAMILIAR with this look.
"What?" I asked defensively. "I was just telling him my good news."
"Of course you were darling", she all too sweetly replied.
They just didn't get how Wale and I could remain "just friends" for all of two years.
"Come on," my friends would tease me, "can you honestly say you feel nothing for him?"
"All the hours spent in each others' company and you've never kissed?" One will ask.
"You weren't jealous of his ex while they were together?" Another will chime in.
"And all the ‘darling_hunnie_sugarplums’ mean nothing? A fourth will ask.
As I adamantly respond negatively to all the questions thrown my way.
"And what about him?" My sister'd ask. "He's never tried to….you know?", giving me a pointed look.
"He kinda did when we first met, but you know I was with Uche at the time so it was a No-No, and besides we've since fallen into a friendship that works fine for both of us...So..." I let my words hang unfinished in the air.
And to my mum, "He's my best friend" I'd say, as she smiles knowingly in return.
Why was it that nobody wanted to believe there was nothing going on between Wale and I? WE ARE JUST FRIENDS, I'm tempted to scream at all the disbelieving eyes staring back at me.
"But why are you trying so hard to convince everyone" a gentle voice called out.
I'd never heard this voice before but I immediately recognized it as my conscience. The voice I'd always relegated to obscurity in "Wale-related" matters.
Weren't you a basket case that week that you had a fight and didn't speak to each other?
Doesn't your face light up when you receive his calls or messages?
Didn't it light up just now?
Weren't you jealous when he almost dated that Barbara chic that hated your guts?
Didn't you say to me on saturday at the movies when his arm hung lazily around your shoulders, how you'd have given anything for him to lean over and kiss you right then?
Why do you share a favorite song?
And all of songs, Michael Buble's The More I See You?
Why do u get so shy and take your eyes away when he throws you that smothering gaze that makes you warm all over?
WHY???
May 13, 2011
Of Women and Cheating
As the world embraces the need for literacy, women worldwide are calling for equal rights as men.
If a man can fly a plane, so can a lady.
Where there’s Super Eagles, there’s Super Falcons winning trophies
Where there’s a male presidential candidate, there’s a female equally giving it a shot
So if there are men that cheat, it only follows that there are women that cheat...after all what a man can do, a woman can do better...right? RIGHT?!!!
While I cannot say that women cheat more or better than guys (is it even a competition?)...the fact remains that a percentage of them cheat.
Why so? You might ask?
Well just as I did in my last post “Of men and cheating”, I asked three ladies the simple question Why Do Women Cheat? Here’s what they had to say.
Girl #1
In my opinion, I believe babes cheat simply because they want the best of both worlds, just like men do. A woman wants (and in most cases needs) stability in her life, so yeah she'll have a boyfriend. On the other hand, some women love all the attention that comes with flirting with another guy. You know that feeling of being "wanted" by someone else...maybe seeing two guys at the same time makes them feel like a bad babe..some say its for security. (You must have heard of assistant boyfriends). It doesn't mean they don't love their boyfriends, most of them believe its harmless fun, I mean guys do it so why the fuss when a babe does the same.. We all know its a man's world out there so I won't dwell on this. Another factor is money. As a girl you have a man that is working hard for his money and provides for you to the best of his ability but because you want to "keep up with the Jones", you have an affair with another guy, who showers you with cash, in most cases a married man aka Aristo aka Sugardaddy aka Helper aka Uncle or whatever girls call them these days.
~ Tayo Olaofe (@temitee14)
Girl #2
Mind trip: I personally define this as the conversations in your head that spur you on to act!
I'll look at cheating from two angles;
-- Nymphomania
Let me just state here that a nympho, IMO (in my opinion) has a case of "overdosed mind trip sessions"
Susan is a nympho the only conversations she has in her head is lying to herself that sex is wht keeps her alive. Susan has a boy friend, Tobi, who has an average sexual libido and therefore can't keep up with her. She is aware that she exhibits excessive sexual desire and behaviour and has told Tobi about this but he would NOT try to help so Susan cheats on Tobi with other men.
Which leads me to the "Ex-Factors aka Okafor's Law
-- Still in sex with my ex
Apart from the obvious reason that home girl is still hung up on her ex emotionally or atleast physically, the okafor's law for (full explanation see thetoolsman's blog) basically postulates that "the seduced will always go back to the seducer, even despite the fact that he/she is in another relationship. Now why would anyone think they could get away with/hide such trysts from a new partner? Is it that blinded by the thrill or danger of the illicit affair, the seduced believes they are invisible...possibly! But I think it is often times a case of self deception and placing false importance in what you and your ex had going on brought on by too many conversations with ones self.
The mind is a special place, always analyzing and arguing with itself, this case its analyzing and comparing sex with current boyfriend and ex-boyfriend..
~ Sophia Ike-onu (@Kechilauren)
Girl #3:
The ones you love are the ones who hurt you the most and vice versa.
Some girls who cheat do it because their partners have hurt them in some way and the most likely way to get back at them is to cheat. In such cases cheating is synonymous with getting even. Then again some cheat out of defiance, rebellion or to maintain a modicum and shred of independence. Some girls who are in-over-their-heads in abusive relationships or overly suspicious boyfriends do it out of the mind set of "whether I cheat or not, he will abuse me so I might as well do something to deserve what I am getting" or just to have a part of them no matter how tiny, immune to the influence of the guys over their lives.
~ Moyo Larmie (@larmoy)
Ayaba Says:
The workings of a woman's mind is very complex and it is this that influences her actions. A lady can cheat for a number of reasons ranging from the need to validate her sexuality/womanhood (more rampant with married women), to gullibility or fallling out of love with her current partner. What do you know, it might even be induced by emotional abuse such as rape and battery. However for what ever reason, the one thing that I and all the contributors strongly agree on is that CHEATING IS WRONG. There is always a way around things. You crave someone constanting at your beck and call? Get a dog!, Your partner no longer makes you happy? End the relationship and start off with someone who does.
Be brave..be innovative and seek other less hurtful and degrading options!
xxx
If a man can fly a plane, so can a lady.
Where there’s Super Eagles, there’s Super Falcons winning trophies
Where there’s a male presidential candidate, there’s a female equally giving it a shot
So if there are men that cheat, it only follows that there are women that cheat...after all what a man can do, a woman can do better...right? RIGHT?!!!
While I cannot say that women cheat more or better than guys (is it even a competition?)...the fact remains that a percentage of them cheat.
Why so? You might ask?
Well just as I did in my last post “Of men and cheating”, I asked three ladies the simple question Why Do Women Cheat? Here’s what they had to say.
Girl #1
In my opinion, I believe babes cheat simply because they want the best of both worlds, just like men do. A woman wants (and in most cases needs) stability in her life, so yeah she'll have a boyfriend. On the other hand, some women love all the attention that comes with flirting with another guy. You know that feeling of being "wanted" by someone else...maybe seeing two guys at the same time makes them feel like a bad babe..some say its for security. (You must have heard of assistant boyfriends). It doesn't mean they don't love their boyfriends, most of them believe its harmless fun, I mean guys do it so why the fuss when a babe does the same.. We all know its a man's world out there so I won't dwell on this. Another factor is money. As a girl you have a man that is working hard for his money and provides for you to the best of his ability but because you want to "keep up with the Jones", you have an affair with another guy, who showers you with cash, in most cases a married man aka Aristo aka Sugardaddy aka Helper aka Uncle or whatever girls call them these days.
~ Tayo Olaofe (@temitee14)
Girl #2
Mind trip: I personally define this as the conversations in your head that spur you on to act!
I'll look at cheating from two angles;
-- Nymphomania
Let me just state here that a nympho, IMO (in my opinion) has a case of "overdosed mind trip sessions"
Susan is a nympho the only conversations she has in her head is lying to herself that sex is wht keeps her alive. Susan has a boy friend, Tobi, who has an average sexual libido and therefore can't keep up with her. She is aware that she exhibits excessive sexual desire and behaviour and has told Tobi about this but he would NOT try to help so Susan cheats on Tobi with other men.
Which leads me to the "Ex-Factors aka Okafor's Law
-- Still in sex with my ex
Apart from the obvious reason that home girl is still hung up on her ex emotionally or atleast physically, the okafor's law for (full explanation see thetoolsman's blog) basically postulates that "the seduced will always go back to the seducer, even despite the fact that he/she is in another relationship. Now why would anyone think they could get away with/hide such trysts from a new partner? Is it that blinded by the thrill or danger of the illicit affair, the seduced believes they are invisible...possibly! But I think it is often times a case of self deception and placing false importance in what you and your ex had going on brought on by too many conversations with ones self.
The mind is a special place, always analyzing and arguing with itself, this case its analyzing and comparing sex with current boyfriend and ex-boyfriend..
~ Sophia Ike-onu (@Kechilauren)
Girl #3:
The ones you love are the ones who hurt you the most and vice versa.
Some girls who cheat do it because their partners have hurt them in some way and the most likely way to get back at them is to cheat. In such cases cheating is synonymous with getting even. Then again some cheat out of defiance, rebellion or to maintain a modicum and shred of independence. Some girls who are in-over-their-heads in abusive relationships or overly suspicious boyfriends do it out of the mind set of "whether I cheat or not, he will abuse me so I might as well do something to deserve what I am getting" or just to have a part of them no matter how tiny, immune to the influence of the guys over their lives.
~ Moyo Larmie (@larmoy)
Ayaba Says:
The workings of a woman's mind is very complex and it is this that influences her actions. A lady can cheat for a number of reasons ranging from the need to validate her sexuality/womanhood (more rampant with married women), to gullibility or fallling out of love with her current partner. What do you know, it might even be induced by emotional abuse such as rape and battery. However for what ever reason, the one thing that I and all the contributors strongly agree on is that CHEATING IS WRONG. There is always a way around things. You crave someone constanting at your beck and call? Get a dog!, Your partner no longer makes you happy? End the relationship and start off with someone who does.
Be brave..be innovative and seek other less hurtful and degrading options!
xxx
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