And there I sat listening as Kaine went all chatty-chatty about her good fortune with a smile on my face.
"Oh dear, I've done it again. I've let my mouth run off. Aii luv, u should get back to work now", Kaine said.
I was about to brush off her concern and urge her to keep on talking when Tola, my colleague walked in.
"I'd call you once I'm done. Bye baby", I reluctantly brought the call to an end.
"You can wipe that smile off your face lover boy", Tola said as he dropped a folder on my desk and whistled out the office.
I hadn't even realized I was smiling. But as usual, Kaine made me smile.
Talkative yet sweet; Stubborn yet wise. She had all the qualities a guy would want in his woman.
All the qualities I wanted in a woman.
I wanted Kaine.
I had wanted her from the very first time I set eyes on her.
She had this magnetic quality about her.
To know her was to love her.
And love her, I did. Though she had no idea. Any form of love I expressed to her was taken to be platonic. To her I was her best friend. Her guy. She once told me I was like a big brother to her...I almost choked on my drink. If only she had known the thoughts that filled my head even as we spoke. Big brother my ass!
That was back then when she was with that Subomi. How I hated his guts...Mr. Smooth Talker. But she'd never have guessed..I was a real sport about their relationship. Giving her advice on how to deal with her man issues. Ever so supportive even when it killed me to be.
And now? I was right there torn between telling her how I felt and risk loosing our friendship or keeping my feelings to myself and never finding out if they were mutual. Tough place to be in especially for a best friend figure who had kept his feelings well hidden for two years. And trust me that wasn't an easy feat especially as I had no inkling as to how she felt about me. It had been a trying two years. Sometimes I just wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled and scream "Can't you see this guy is head-over-heels, socks inside-out in love", and then gather her up in my arms and kiss her till she was out of breath!
I had to tell her how I felt. I had waited long enough and Heaven forbid that another guy take her from me while I was yet dulling..being the best friend while I could be both best friend and boyfriend.
Yes...I had to tell her. The sooner the better too. What was the worst that could happen? She would brush it off as a joke and I'd take whatever I'm served. At least I'd know I gave it a shot and it just wasn't meant to be.
Tomorrow I'd tell her, I resolved.
Haven made a decision, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest. I opened the folder Tola had brought in and as I looked down at my note pad I saw a "chicken scratch-like" doodle spelling "K-A-I-N-E"...and I burst out laughing at myself.
"Dooood...you are way in over your head!" I said aloud, shaking my head and getting to work.
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