Ever so often I hear new assumptions about the male folk. Here are some of the popular ones.
#1 Though, they act all macho, inside they are such big babies.
#2 They are a fiercely jealous bunch.
#3 If he takes time off his game to call you, he loves you.
#4 The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
#5 All men cheat!
Now about that. Do all men really cheat? Or like every rule, are there exceptions? And why at all, do guys cheat?
To help us understand this long standing "norm", I asked 4 guys the simple question...Why Do Guys Cheat? Here's what they had to say.
Guy #1:
Please understand that I'm not justifying any of the reasons I am about to mention/elaborate on but in my opinion if I'm gonna cheat it's gonna be in line with any of the following reasons:
1. The "sex" issue:
This is quite simple, if I'm not getting it from my girlfriend then I'm probably gonna get it elsewhere.
2. Hot Babe:
So if I'm getting it from my girlfriend who I truly and completely love then why would I cheat still? Because the babe I'm cheating with is a complete hottie and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Sometimes we just can't resist adding that hot babe to the resume, especially if she's on the list of the ones that got away.
3. Moment of weakness:
Every man has that moment of weakness, this may be alcohol induced, hormone induced, environment induced (it may be raining outside) etc. At this point, he would not ordinarily cheat but the circumstances just stack the odds against him.
~Timi Adesanya(@TweetTimi)
Guy #2:
Guys cheat because girls expect them to cheat. Given, there's peer pressure from other guys everytime we share a beer(usually more than a beer), and we take turns to brag about our sexual escapades and conquests to (re)assert our masculinity. The question "why do guys cheat?" on every girls' mind/lips presupposes that 'all' guys cheat! Say there exists this group of guys who don't cheat; but for the fear of being perceived as "lesser guys" by virtue of their non-cheating ability, seeing as girls fully associate "guys" with "cheating"- are then subconsciously driven to engage in cheating for the sole purpose of validating the girls' pre-conceived notion!
~Niyi, 24 (Pragmatic)
Guy #3:
In my days in Unilag, even if i had a girlfriend I might still have cheated because it was the “cool” thing to do. Being a club boy wasn’t just by mouth you had to be a ladies man. By the way,there are too many hot babes around who throw themselves at club guys knowing they've been around (women should share some of the blame because saying NO shouldn't be that difficult).Sometimes, we cheat just because we want to forget any excuses. Besides, guys had to have something to discuss with their friends, so they make sure it aint just all mouth but ACTION. Oh by the way, we have two heads,aint easy controlling the two of em at once.(JK).Most of us just have sex,nothing attached to these things, but to call a spade what it is...it is cheating.
(FYI I have a girlfriend I love and I'd never cheat on.)
~Dare Aliu (@dreeee1)
Guy #4:
Meet Ebuka..he's 35...young, accomplished and married. Infact he's got a 2yr old daughter. He provides for his family to the best of his ability. Simply put he's quite well off. He loves his wife. Heck..he chose to settle down with her didn't he? Of course he loves her. So why does he cheat? Simple~ Because he can. He's used to his wild ways and adjusting to monogamy isn't as easy as it seems. He still hangouts on the occasional friday night with friends and he sees all sorta endowed ladies ready to jump at the offer of a roll in the sack. Why not? All I said was that he was married, nobody said anything about him being a saint. So he'd have the occasional fling. No strings attached of course. And he'd give the young girl 25k for cab and that's goodbye. He buys his wife an expensive bracelet to rid himself of the guilt. He swears he loves her. But a little fun doesn't hurt, does it?
~ Folarin Rowland (Happily Married)
So there people now you know what's on the mind of the average guy that cheats which #IMO (in my opinion) doesn't justify cheating on the guy's part or the girl's (don't even let me start on that)...its wrong and selfish...#DearFutureBoyfriend IT ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION!
I'd love to hear your views, do comment below.
(Ps:The contributors are merely proferring reasons to why guys in certain situations cheat, their responses do not necessarily apply to themselves.)
Apr 25, 2011
Apr 14, 2011
Slow Down: (D)anger Ahead
One fine morning, a young girl had just received an sms, and on opening it, discovered that a friend had topped up her phone with credit. What a beautiful surprise it was! To think she was yet to call her favorite uncle to wish him a happy birthday but for lack of credit.
Immediately she dialed her uncle's number and on picking up, he was full of joy. All pleasantries over, on and on he went, asking all sorta unrelated questions. You see he hadn't spoken to his niece in a while and wanted to catch up on all he had missed. She appreciated the concern but she sure hadn't anticipated this. To spend so long on the phone call. Several times, she tried to bring the conversation to an end but to no avail. He was relentless. This was getting annoying. He knew she was a student, the least she expected was for him to be considerate of her credit. Haba! Or should I end the call abruptly and pretend the service went off?, she thought to herself. But her conscience wouldn't allow her. This was an uncle who had "raised" her on several occasions when she was broke. She felt uncomfortable cutting him mid-sentence.
Sighing in resignation, she laboriously answered all the questions and asked a few of her own for formality sakes. Big mistake. A question on how his work was going, translated into a long and detailed explanation on the intricacies of his job. What a jerk! She thought. After what felt like an hour, he finally brought the conversation to an end. By this time, the girl was outrightly furious, as she hurriedly rushed him off the phone. She hadn't even thanked the person who sent her the credit, she fumed, and snapped "Bye uncle", as she cut him off.
Whew!
Call duration 10:36.
I hope I still have some credit left, she thought, rolling her eyes as she dialed *556# to check her credit balance.
"MtnPayGolBal: N1500.00", it said. Her credit was still intact. This was beyond amazing!
"Does it mean I wasn't being charged for that call all along? Ope O!" She exclaimed excitedly.
Finally she could call Bukunmi to thank him for the credit.
On going through her call log she discovered something that would have made her red with embarrassment had she been white.
All the time she had been upset with her uncle and he had been the one that had called her!
Apparently, when she called, he cut her off and called her back, but it happened within so short a while that she hadn't realized especially as her phone was permanently on silent and she wasn't looking at the screen.
No wonder he had spoken for so long!
As she was still pondering over this revelation, consumed with shame, she received another sms.
This time it was to inform her that her uncle who minutes ago she had called a jerk, had sent N3000 worth of credit to her.
This was too much.
Never had she felt so awful, mortified and embarrassed all at once.
As she called her uncle to thank him, he ended the call and called her back right away, telling her she needn't waste her credit on him.
She got off that phone call with a heavy heart.
Who was the jerk after all?
Me.
That girl was me minutes ago.
And here I am on Shame avenue off Anger road.
I learnt a big lesson today.
TO BE SLOW TO ANGER.
Sometimes things aren't what they seem. Its a process...but I'm pretty sure I shall be remembering this day when next I'm about to hit boiling point.
xxx
Immediately she dialed her uncle's number and on picking up, he was full of joy. All pleasantries over, on and on he went, asking all sorta unrelated questions. You see he hadn't spoken to his niece in a while and wanted to catch up on all he had missed. She appreciated the concern but she sure hadn't anticipated this. To spend so long on the phone call. Several times, she tried to bring the conversation to an end but to no avail. He was relentless. This was getting annoying. He knew she was a student, the least she expected was for him to be considerate of her credit. Haba! Or should I end the call abruptly and pretend the service went off?, she thought to herself. But her conscience wouldn't allow her. This was an uncle who had "raised" her on several occasions when she was broke. She felt uncomfortable cutting him mid-sentence.
Sighing in resignation, she laboriously answered all the questions and asked a few of her own for formality sakes. Big mistake. A question on how his work was going, translated into a long and detailed explanation on the intricacies of his job. What a jerk! She thought. After what felt like an hour, he finally brought the conversation to an end. By this time, the girl was outrightly furious, as she hurriedly rushed him off the phone. She hadn't even thanked the person who sent her the credit, she fumed, and snapped "Bye uncle", as she cut him off.
Whew!
Call duration 10:36.
I hope I still have some credit left, she thought, rolling her eyes as she dialed *556# to check her credit balance.
"MtnPayGolBal: N1500.00", it said. Her credit was still intact. This was beyond amazing!
"Does it mean I wasn't being charged for that call all along? Ope O!" She exclaimed excitedly.
Finally she could call Bukunmi to thank him for the credit.
On going through her call log she discovered something that would have made her red with embarrassment had she been white.
All the time she had been upset with her uncle and he had been the one that had called her!
Apparently, when she called, he cut her off and called her back, but it happened within so short a while that she hadn't realized especially as her phone was permanently on silent and she wasn't looking at the screen.
No wonder he had spoken for so long!
As she was still pondering over this revelation, consumed with shame, she received another sms.
This time it was to inform her that her uncle who minutes ago she had called a jerk, had sent N3000 worth of credit to her.
This was too much.
Never had she felt so awful, mortified and embarrassed all at once.
As she called her uncle to thank him, he ended the call and called her back right away, telling her she needn't waste her credit on him.
She got off that phone call with a heavy heart.
Who was the jerk after all?
Me.
That girl was me minutes ago.
And here I am on Shame avenue off Anger road.
I learnt a big lesson today.
TO BE SLOW TO ANGER.
Sometimes things aren't what they seem. Its a process...but I'm pretty sure I shall be remembering this day when next I'm about to hit boiling point.
xxx
Apr 9, 2011
One cold lonely night
Its one of those days.
As I type, I have no idea what I'm about to write. I just know in times like this when a lot is on my mind, I like to put my thoughts on paper, in the hope that it would make things clearer.
This time, it doesn't.
Its one of those days.
I have a lot on my mind but I don't know where to begin.
This is going to be a short one.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I guess I have nothing to write after all.
Its one of those days.
Maybe I just need a hug.
A kiss on my temple and nothing more.
Just warm hands holding me through the night.
But we can't always have what we want.
So I'd go get myself a cold cuppa chocolate drink.
I'd say a prayer and go to sleep.
Well I'd try.
And tonight "Schnukie" my torch light shaped pillow will have to do.
Its one of those days.
Or wait? Shouldn't it be "one of those nights"?
*Shrugs*
PS: Here's hoping MTN lets me post this.
As I type, I have no idea what I'm about to write. I just know in times like this when a lot is on my mind, I like to put my thoughts on paper, in the hope that it would make things clearer.
This time, it doesn't.
Its one of those days.
I have a lot on my mind but I don't know where to begin.
This is going to be a short one.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I guess I have nothing to write after all.
Its one of those days.
Maybe I just need a hug.
A kiss on my temple and nothing more.
Just warm hands holding me through the night.
But we can't always have what we want.
So I'd go get myself a cold cuppa chocolate drink.
I'd say a prayer and go to sleep.
Well I'd try.
And tonight "Schnukie" my torch light shaped pillow will have to do.
Its one of those days.
Or wait? Shouldn't it be "one of those nights"?
*Shrugs*
PS: Here's hoping MTN lets me post this.
Apr 6, 2011
Dear Mother
Every other month, I get a broadcast message announcing Mothers' Day and I wonder to myself why the world can't settle on a date to celebrate mothers like they did with lovers. Then I realize how difficult it must be to choose a single day outta 365, sometimes 366 days to appreciate a mother and momentarily I forgive them this annoying habit of forwarding broadcasts. So on this sunny afternoon i take a look at this special classs of women. Mothers.
Dictionary.com defines a mother as a female parent. Bleh! I've always thought their definitions inadequate anyway, so I give my own definition..feel free to quote me.
"A mother is a female who carries a burden for 9months, goes through excruciating pain in labour, and once she's put to birth becomes selfless, putting the concerns of her child ahead of hers all life long".
Put in another way;
She's a Producer- producing breast milk for her baby.
She's a Stylist- dressing you up at age 4 in little frocks and tuxedos.
She's an Alarm clock- waking you up in time for school.
She's a Doctor- nursing you back to health.
She's a Judge- settling disputes between siblings.
She's a Nutritionist- forcing you to eat vegetables when you hate it.
She's a Driver- taking you from place to place.
She's the Chairman of your fan club- rooting for you at the school play.
She's your Confidant- reservoir of your prized information.
She's your Intercessor- taking you to God's presence daily.
My Mum knows a whole lot- you say at age 6.
She's not so nice, she beats me- you say at age 10.
She's annoying- you say at age 14 when she won't let you do certain things.
She's hopelessly old fashioned- you say at age 18.
Maybe she might know a little about things- you say at age 23.
And you can't do without her opinion as you grow older.
She's a goldsmith, molding you into the best you can be.
She's a pilllar, doting on you for the rest of her life.
She's so much more, I couldn't possible put it all down.
She's an all rounder.
Simply put...She's Awesome.
This is dedicated to all mothers and especially to mine, my best friend and rock Mrs. Motilayo
Oladeleoluwa, you're absolutely, definately and totally AWESOME.
Dictionary.com defines a mother as a female parent. Bleh! I've always thought their definitions inadequate anyway, so I give my own definition..feel free to quote me.
"A mother is a female who carries a burden for 9months, goes through excruciating pain in labour, and once she's put to birth becomes selfless, putting the concerns of her child ahead of hers all life long".
Put in another way;
She's a Producer- producing breast milk for her baby.
She's a Stylist- dressing you up at age 4 in little frocks and tuxedos.
She's an Alarm clock- waking you up in time for school.
She's a Doctor- nursing you back to health.
She's a Judge- settling disputes between siblings.
She's a Nutritionist- forcing you to eat vegetables when you hate it.
She's a Driver- taking you from place to place.
She's the Chairman of your fan club- rooting for you at the school play.
She's your Confidant- reservoir of your prized information.
She's your Intercessor- taking you to God's presence daily.
My Mum knows a whole lot- you say at age 6.
She's not so nice, she beats me- you say at age 10.
She's annoying- you say at age 14 when she won't let you do certain things.
She's hopelessly old fashioned- you say at age 18.
Maybe she might know a little about things- you say at age 23.
And you can't do without her opinion as you grow older.
She's a goldsmith, molding you into the best you can be.
She's a pilllar, doting on you for the rest of her life.
She's so much more, I couldn't possible put it all down.
She's an all rounder.
Simply put...She's Awesome.
This is dedicated to all mothers and especially to mine, my best friend and rock Mrs. Motilayo
Oladeleoluwa, you're absolutely, definately and totally AWESOME.
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