On a more serious note

I am a christian.

These four words don't come easy. Oh its alright to say you're a christian, especially in passing. When you're asked if you're a christian or a muslim, its easy to answer, affirming the former and immediately move on to tell the guy you were just hooked up with, how you're 5ft 7", you're slim and chocolate complexioned, and your favourite colour is green; you may even proceed to tell him your shoe and bra sizes, your account number and even your atm pin; every little solicited and unsolicited detail is given in the excitement of the hour (Oh yea I'm talking to myself as well, I am 5ft 7" after all). And when we eventually find out that the person on the other end is christian as well...we breathe a sigh of relief (that's if you're like me who believes that a relationship thrives better when both partners have shared religious beliefs and of course the rest...attraction, understanding...etc).

Note: All this is before homeboy has even stated his intentions. For all you care, he might already be in a relationship.

But today isn't about relationships, how I went there, I don't even know. Today its about being a christian and what it means. To a lot of us, christianity is just a label. Its ok as long as much is not expected of us save for attending church every sunday, tweeting religious lines and updating our statuses with biblical quotes from time to time. Its cool as long as we are given free reign to run our lives the way we want, ignoring the guilt when we feel we have erred. Now that's the word that struck me, GUILT. From experience this has been a major challenge. As a young "soji" girl, how much free reign do I have as a christian especially in a world where we have ready-made accusing fingers ready to well....give you the finger? How much compromise can I make under the guise of "times have changed"? How far do I go in a relationship without warning bells ringing? How can I have the right proportion of christianity and "cool" at the same time? How much can I stay on the fence without being termed hypocritical?

And when I fall short of my expectations as a christian, I try to justify my actions, after all I'm not perfect...that's why there is such a thing as forgiveness, isn't it? Sometimes I ask myself, who even determines what is right or wrong? If it isn't spelt out in the bible as being wrong, surely it isn't then...right? RIGHT??!

Truth is, being a christian is much more than saying the words. Its a life, a work, a journey. It doesn't promise to be cupcakes and cookies, oh it sure has a lot of bumpy roads, but at the end of the day its worth it (you can quote me on this). I'm not saying that I have it all figured out, I have my own fair share of questions, doubts, and concerns, and even though I aim to be Christ-like, I am human and sometimes I stray, but like Paul I keep on pressing on to the prize of the high calling of God.

I'm not perfect. I'm a christian.