It came to my attention recently that I hadn't written in a long time. Not poems or generalities, I mean really write straight from the heart (for lack of a better phrase). Now that would be falling short of my pledge (Re: Above) to write as it is in my heart and sometimes in yours. So to placate my slightly disgruntled readers (dare I say fans? nahhh..before I am swallowed without haven been cooked), I write.
This will be the right moment to interject this disclaimer; I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP BLOGGER! (Lol..that almost felt like I was shouting). By now if you haven't figured out the theme of this blog, then I take it you don't watch the series Gossip Girls (the scene where Chuck said to Blair, "...three words, eight letters, say it and I'm yours..."), did I lose somebody here? My apologies. Yes, today I write on love. Again. I know. Forgive me, but as a youth I hear this everyday...Love, or so it seems.
Tina Turner asked years ago, "what's love got to do with it?" And frankly the answer is, most times among youths, love has little or nothing to do with it. Confused? Don't be. I'll explain in a minute. Picture this, let me use the couple in one of my previous posts (Re: A girl's story), Bukky and Bayo as a case study. Bayo is 26, Bukky is 23. Bayo has been dating actively since he was 17. Bukky is his 6th girlfriend (not counting flings). Now, Bayo is Bukky's 3rd boyfriend. She's been dating since she was 19yrs.
When Bayo was 17, fresh out of high school, hottest boy in JAMB lesson, he "kind of" dated Jessica. Even though it was her friend, Tope he really liked, Jessy was forthcoming so he settled for her. His text message to her must have read something like this, "I'll do anything for you, anything you ask me to, I'll go anywhere for you, anywhere you want me to...", I'm sure you know the rest,(yes straight from the lyrics of the Backstreet Boys classic), and Jessy would have swooned, especially at the "I love you that ended the text". A few weeks pass and he breaks up with Jessica. You see word around was that Tope liked him too, so when he wasn't busy fetching mountains for Jessica, he was chatting Tope up, and the lovestruck girl fell. Then he finds the lyrics of yet another song, maybe this time something by Westlife, and sends it to Tope, of course signed off with "I love you".
And so I ask, what's love got to do with it?
I'll skip his romantic escapades and jump to his 3rd year in the university. By this time he is 21, one of the most popular boys in school and the life of the party. He has girls craving his attention,some he gives audience, some he doesn't. But there was this one girl in his set, Chichi, that left him tongue tied. Try as he may, Chichi would have nothing to do with him. You see, she was one of the "good girls". But you know what they say about persistence, it eventually paid off, and so their romance began. They were the school's hottest couple. Bayo had reduced his infidelity to its barest minimum because he couldn't risk Chichi finding out. At some point, Chichi had agreed with Bayo that her friends were jealous, hence spreading rumours about him. You see Bayo "loved" Chichi, he just couldn't help the occasional straying. Maybe it was peer pressure, maybe it wasn't. Who knows! After all he had only his university days to play around as he had decided to be 100% committed after school. She was wife material so he was pretty sure his mum wouldn't mind that she was Ibo. But her parents had other ideas. They had arranged for her, the son of her father's business partner as her husband to be. Though she fought it, her folks eventually made her see reason. She broke it off with Bayo in a 5 paged text message that ended with "...I love you, always have, always will". Four months later she was married.
And so I ask, what's love got to do with it?
By this time, Bayo is heart broken and has sworn off love . He resorts to flings and reverts to his bad boy ways, falling in and out of relationships. Girls tried and failed to win his devotion as he was the toast of the town; young, good-looking and successful. He carries on this way till he is 24 going on 25 and then meets Bukky at a wedding. Well spoken, intelligent, beautiful, and with a body to die for, Bukky was perfect. She was the one. After all, it was time to think about settling down. He and Bukky hit it off immediately, they go on a date or two and 2 months into their friendship, they begin dating. Bayo could confidently say he loved Bukky. All his friends knew her, she was welcome in his family, she knew just how to cater to him, he called her at odd times just to say "I loveyou". As I said, she was perfect. Before you knew it, they were celebrating their 1st year anniversary in Dubai. Bayo stayed faithful for a whole year, and then in the middle of their 2nd year together, this Delilah was employed in his office as an NYSC student. SHE WAS HOT!!! Not in the same way as Bukky, but she held her own. While Bukky was mature and calculated, she was fun and impulsive. She just had this endearing persona, and what started off as office cordiality evolved into chemistry. He had 80%, but craved the remaining 20%. And so he cheated. This heralded the era of the phone calls that were sometimes not picked, and the meetings that lasted till 12am.
He loved Bukky....but then again, what's love got to do with it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a cynic. I believe strongly in love I'm even a romantic, but be that as it may, these questions fill my head.
Are we allowed to fall in and out of love as often as we change wardrobes?
Do all boys cheat? Do all girls?
Are there still single people out there?
Are we disillusioned to expect our loved ones not to cheat?
Do we love everyone we dated?
Is dating overrated?
Should we remain single till someone proposes?
Is marriage a guarantee for love?
Is love a sacred feeling to be shared between husband and wife?
What really is love?
While I don't have answers to all these questions, I mean, to each his own, I do know what love is. Or what it should be.
Love is patient; kind; doesn't envy; doesn't boast; isn't proud; isn't rude; isn't self-seeking; is not easily angered; keeps no record of wrong doing; doesn't delight in evil; rejoices with the truth; always protects; always trusts; always hopes; always perseveres; Never Fails. (1 Cor 13: 4-8)
So when next you go off writing or saying these three words, eight letters---I Love You, check if it meets all these parameters.
